


Jalapeno Business

by SeverusSnapeismyBFF



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Prompt., i wrote this at 3 am, it's a tumblr post, lame joke, like a year and a half ago.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 19:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7119943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeverusSnapeismyBFF/pseuds/SeverusSnapeismyBFF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and his friends are having breakfast on a Monday morning and harry cracks a lame joke. Nobody laughs, except the blonde boy across the hall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jalapeno Business

**Idk if this has already been done but whatever. I wrote this like two years ago at 3am and it hasn't been read by a beta so....This fic is based off of this tumblr post, by** [ **comealongpie.tumblr.com** ](http://comealongpie.tumblr.com)

**“imagine harry being harry and saying something sassy to ron and hermione but they don’t find it funny”**

**then three tables across the gryffindor’s, they hear draco _laugh"_**

 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

 

It was a Monday. Nobody likes Mondays. At least no _sane_ person like Mondays.

“Man, I can’t even focus on eating. I mean, What is this? Is this blueberry jam, or apple jam?” Ron asked, squinting at the fading label on the jam jar.

“Ronald, I do believe that is Jalapeño jelly. Not a fan” It was rare for Hermione to speak in short sentences, such as that one.

“Jalapeño? What? Have we always had this kinda jelly?”

Harry laughed to himself as he debated on telling the joke. “What funny mate?” Seamus inquired while inspecting the bacon for crispy pieces.

“it’s just-“ Harry had to break off to laugh again, “What does a nosey pepper do?”

Hermione sighed, already knowing the muggle joke “Merlin.” She muttered

“What?” Ginny asked, leaning over the table to grab the pumpkin juice.

“Gets’ all up….” Harry laughed again “Gets Jalapeño business.”

“Oh my god” someone whispered, Harry just laughed.

“what? It was funny!”

“I don’t get it.” Ron said.

On the other side of the hall, amidst the silence from the Monday, a snort of laughter was heard.

“Was that _Malfoy_?” Ron asked.

It was quiet again, and if you looked close enough you could see a tinge of red on Draco Malfoys cheeks.

“At least _someone_ appreciated my jokes.” Harry trailed off.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Lunch came and went, which left the Gryffindor’s dreading double potions with the Slytherins.

“why do we always have potions with them, every year?” Ron moaned, for the fifth time.

“ _Ron._ ” Hermione sighed, aggravated at the insistent whining.

They had made it to the dungeons before Snape did, so they were left  to twiddle their thumbs as they waited.

“-gets _jalapeño business!_ ” Draco Malfoys voice floated into the room, followed by the teenager himself, laughing at the silly joke. He was the only one laughing, Except for Harry.

“What?” Gregory Goyle asked, confused. “what’s so funny about it. I don’t get it..”

“ _Greg”_ Pansy Parkinson sighed, “Draco thinks it’s funny because Potter told the Joke.”

“Oh” Goyle said.

“Guys!” Draco Suddenly stopped talking and made a _shush_ gesture at his friends, having notice Harry Potter in all his glory.

“Well Well, Potter. Eavesdropping?”

“Er..No.” Harry replied.

“Oh, well, what are you doing in here then? Stealing all of Snapes goods?”

“Erm, Malfoy.” Harry was trying to get Malfoy to sit down, as the Professor had arrived to class, and he hated it when the student were _not_  in their seats.

“Potter, don’t interrupt. It’s terribly rude! Didn’t you’re Mommy teach you any better?”

Harry made an angry noise. “Oh wait. She’s _dead_.” Malfoy laughed at his joke, and Harry almost, _almost,_ drew his wand.

“Mister Malfoy. Please refrain from disrupting my class. 3 points from Slytherin. Now, sit.”

“Ooh, that Malfoy is so rude!” Hermione said under her breath.

“He’s a right git, that one”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

 

Draco Malfoy, was _not_ blushing. Malfoys don’t _blush_.

“What were you laughing at Draco?”

“Nothing Pansy.”

Draco had also _not_ been listening to Harry Potter talk to his friends, and he had most certainly _not_ been thinking of him nearly every day.

Draco Malfoy did _not_ have a crush on Harry Sodding Potter.

Draco Malfoy, however, did enjoy the joke he had just heard, randomly, he wasn’t eavesdropping, he just had good hearing, he had _always_ been able to listen three tables away without trying. No problem.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

No less than 5 hours later, Draco Malfoy was retelling the joke Harry Potter had told that morning.

He walked into the potions room, still laughing, not noticing the person always invading his thoughts.

When he did notice Harry Potter sitting there, he blushed. _Damn_ he thought, _I can’t let him think that I thought that joke was funny….what do I do?_

Draco Malfoy did not have a crush on Harry Potter, and he _hadn’t_ had a crush on Harry Potter for five years. _Five bloddy years. I’m bloody 16 years old and I’m getting all tickled by the thought of a_ joke.  And it was the joke because he _did not have a crush on Harry Potter._

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Draco grumbled in his seat. He had lost points, from his own head of house. Granted, it was only 3 points, but Snape _never_  took points from his house. He must have been pissed.

Draco was currently seated directly in front of his not crush and the flaming red-head.

“Didn’t you tell that same lame joke at breakfast today?”

“Yeah I did-“ harry was cut off by his potion puffing in his face, Harry coughed and swatted at the smoke. “I don’t know how he would have heard me. There’s no way. But he must’ve, because that joke, which isn’t lame by the way, you arse, is a muggle joke that I heard my cousin say to his crute of a friend once.”

“Well,-ow- if he wasn’t listening how did he know it?  
“I don’t bloddy know now do I?”

“maybe he was listening.”

“Why would he listen to me. He hates me. He always has, I mean yeah he makes fun of me all the time, but why would he listen all the way from his house table to me? It’s bloody insane.” Harry Potter trailed off for a second. “Maybe he was trying to find dirt on me, to get me. He must be out to get me again”

“Maybe,” Weasly smirked, “Or maybe, he has a crush on you.”

Draco’s eyes widened, and he sliced his finger while he was trying to cut newts eyes. “ _Fuck_ ” he whispered, but not from the pain. _What, how would the Weasel know_

“Shut up Ron.” Harry said, flushing slightly.

Harry Potter did not have a crush on Draco Malfoy, and Draco Malfoy most certainly did not have a crush on Harry Potter.


End file.
